An episode of Diagnosis Murder gave me nightmares. I don't like meeting new people. I like eating the same things at the same restaurants. I value safety over excitement, order over chaos, and bulleted lists over just about everything.
I've been thinking a lot the past year about things I would do if I knew I could not fail. Then I've been trying to do some of them. They're not huge things, but they're huge to me.
Then I began thinking about what I would do if I weren't afraid. These tended to be smaller things than the "not fail" list, but they were still things that scared me.
One of the things I would do if I weren't afraid is to take a vegetarian cooking class. We all know that I struggle with cooking, with food, with weight, with blah blah blah. I became a vegetarian about eleven months ago, and since then I've become more and more interested in learning how to make healthy yumminess out of vegetables.
I don't have knife skills. I get flustered when there are too many things happening at the same time in the kitchen. I believe cutting squash should be on the list of World's Most Difficult Tasks, along with Achieving Peace in the Middle East, Going to Parties, and Not Getting Frustrated with Republicans.*
Despite all this, tonight I'm going to a vegetarian cooking class.
And I am afraid.
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, "I will try again tomorrow."
~ Mary Anne Radmacher
*Sorry, Republicans. Really, I am.