Thursday, July 1, 2010

Dear Air Conditioner,

Let me begin by saying that I am so glad you let me know that you were feeling overlooked and unneeded. I appreciate you telling me now instead of waiting until either this weekend when the heat and humidity will be back, or, even worse, waiting until the dead of winter when we need your heat pump.

I want to make sure you understand that your work is valued. Yes, we had a couple of ceiling fans installed, but that wasn't to replace you; it was to complement you. It was our desire to take a little of the strain off of your tired compressor. I know it isn't your fault that our bedroom is warm. That's the price we pay for having a second-floor bedroom. We simply didn't want you to feel badly about our discomfort, so we put in the ceiling fans upstairs.

That doesn't mean we love you any less. In fact, it should make you realize just how much we do love you.

I would like to gently remind you that there are other ways to express your feelings than simply refusing to put out cold air. You are free to use the dry erase board in the dining room, for example. Or leave us a voicemail. Or send an e-mail. We're very accessible.

Perhaps you don't realize that your chosen form of communication requires us to call out a repairman. I know he's a nice repairman. I know you enjoyed spending time with him two years ago. I remember. However, we have to pay that repairman. It is an unexpected and unwelcome expense.

This is perhaps also the proper time to remind you that Andrew and I, unlike you, have full-time jobs. We actually earn an income. While your work is valued, it costs us in terms of electricity and, now, a visit from Mr. Repairman. Your run capacitor temper tantrum cost us $239.80. There are better ways to communicate.

That isn't to say we don't appreciate you doing your job; we do.

But you can be replaced. Don't push it too hard.


  1. I love this! Not that you having to pay a good chunk to having your a/c repaired is funny, but this is quite funny.


  2. I guess you told him! So there, Mr. Air.

  3. We have resisted bringing out portable units up from the basement, we have been fortunate so far this year. Glad you got yours working again.