Him: Hey, B, I have a finance question for you. (Stops short and stares at me) You're wearing the Ubiquitous Sweater!
Me: (quickly evaluates the likelihood of getting out of this conversation and realizes it is hopeless) Pardon?
Him: The Ubiquitous Sweater! When I was in Israel, someone was making fun of someone else for buying an argyle sweater. They said it was horribly out of date. Nobody wears argyle anymore. I told them that lots of people were wearing argyle and I bet we would see it all over the place. We all started looking for it, and it was everywhere! Argyle sweaters, argyle hats, argyle socks. We started calling an argyle sweater the Ubiquitous Sweater.
Me: (blink, blink, and pause) I have no idea where to go with this conversation.
I still maintain we should be able to say, "Insert appropriate response here" when stuck in these type of non sequitur conversations. When I rule the world, things will be different.