Thanks but no!

Recently a very dear friend send me an e-mail:

We're getting Mom and Dad's house ready for their 60th Wedding Anniversary Party on Sep 6. The house should look pretty good in time for the millions of people to arrive. I didn't send you an invitation because I love you. You're welcome.

It is so fanstasic to have people who know me well enough to know that, while I love them very, very, very much, the idea of going to a party crowded with strangers makes me want to crawl under my bed until the event passes.

Rebecca Lynch has made an app for "introjis," which are emojis for introverts. You can find them here. It's one of the few kickstarters I've supported. She gets me.

"Not going, but thanks for the invitation!"

copyright Rebecca Lynch--buy the app here (Android) or here (Apple)

An Old Memory

A friend sent me a link to this video. It's called "The Power of Introverts." I've talked about introversion here and here. Here's what you need to know:

• Introversion does not equal shyness.
• We're not antisocial.
• We really do want to stay home, and that doesn't make us weird.
• We like you and like to be around you, but we also need a break to recharge. This is not a bad thing. It's just a thing.

Imagine an introvert as being a series of electrical outlets. Now imagine people plugging into those outlets and draining our power. That's fine for awhile, but then we will kindly ask you to stop. If you don't, we'll unplug you ourselves and go hide in a closet. This is normal.

In the video, she talks about going to camp and being encouraged to be more extroverted. I had a flashback to Camp...

Huh, what was that camp called?

Never mind. I went there for a week for a couple of summers so I could be indoctrinated in conservative Christian theology sing songs and fraternize with other kids my age.

I think it was the second year. In the free time in the middle of the afternoon, I went back to the cabin, clamored onto my top bunk and read. By some bizarre fluke, I landed in the cool kids' cabin that year, and I remember one of the cool girls* coming down the hill to the cabin to get something. She saw me and was concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Why are you here by yourself?"

"Because I'm reading."

"But don't you want to be with everybody else?"

I don't even remember how I responded to that. I do remember that all I could hear was a loud voice in my head, "Be with everybody else?  That's what I've been doing all morning! And that's what I'll do at dinner and all evening and at vespers and then again tomorrow morning and then and then and then...." I remember thinking that the weird thing was that there weren't more kids in their cabin reading. And, honestly, I was grateful for that because I wanted to have some time when I didn't have to be on. But, seriously, why were these people together all the time? Didn't they need a break? As much fun as camp was, and as nice as it was to be around other kids who were into Jesus, didn't everyone else feel the drain of spending so much time with other people?

Nope.

It's stuck with me as a powerful example of the difference between introverts and extroverts.

The next time you see a kid with a book, leave her alone. This is not her retreating into some depressing inner world. This will not lead to her cutting herself and singing emo songs.

This will keep her sane.

Read on, girls.

*The cool girl is nice in this story. I know that's weird, but she was.

My Version of Liquid Courage

Tonight is the first class for the Master Gardening program.

I am anxious.

Don't bother saying, "Why are you anxious?  That's silly!  You want to do this!"  I know that.  I love to learn new things, but being in unknown situations is something I have to force myself to do.  All you extroverts out there should take a moment to be grateful for your situation.  I honestly prefer hanging out with introverts--I understand them, after all--but at times like these a little more extroversion would be appreciated.

Since that's not likely to happen, I did the next best thing.

I bought school supplies.

That frog is covered in glitter.  I figure that I'm going to be one of the youngest people in this class, and someone will undoubtedly make a dumbass comment about my age.  If this is the case, I might as well carry a folder I love.  I can always tell them that I had to wrestle it away from a 10-year-old girl.

The notebook is made of recycled goodness to make me feel a bit better about buying a glittery, nonenvironmentally-friendly folder.

The pens have an ultra fine point of .38mm.*  I write small normally, and my writing gets smaller when I am tense.

I am ready.

Master Gardening class, bring it.

*I am confident there is someone out there who loves office supplies as much as I do, someone who read that and gasped, "There's a .38 mm pen?!  But a normal micro pen is only .5mm!  That's amazing!"  No?  Okay, just me then.

Introversion, or Why I'm Not Crazy

Lynn sent me this link, which talks about introversion. The site is to help counselors understand introverts and the different approaches they might use with introverts as compared to extroverts.

I was surprised to see that only 25-30% of the population are introverted. One out of four? How is that possible? I realize introverts tend to either a) stay at home or b) befriend likeminded introverts. It's reasonable that I think there are a lot more of us than there really are because almost all of my friends are introverted. Extroverts take too much energy.

I was thinking about introversion this past weekend while we were spending a lot of time with Andrew's brother and sister-in-law and our new niece. Andrew and I kept telling the new parents that they should feel free to tell everyone to go home if that's what they wanted. It occurred to me that perhaps they don't feel exhausted by having people around. I've heard, although I've never understood it, that some people gain energy by being around others. According to that website, apparently three-fourths of the population does this.

Huh. I wonder what that would be like.

On a slightly related note, I wonder what percentage of bloggers are introverts. I'm guessing that the percentage is much higher than 25-30%. Here we can think and think and think and write and edit and rewrite and edit again before we release our thoughts into the world. It's so much easier than talking. Sadly, you don't get an edit button for talking.

So, if there are any extroverts who happen upon this blog (although from the website's definition of an extrovert's understanding of the Internet that isn't very likely), here are some things to know:

• Just because you make us tired doesn't mean we don't love you. We may love you very much.
• That doesn't mean we want to spend all our time with you.
• Not having something to say every moment we are together is not a crisis. I know that's hard to believe, but it's not. There is such a thing as a peaceful silence. Or, there would be if you'd stop freaking out that we're not talking.
• We have many interests and hobbies. We are not all crazy cat ladies... although some of us are.
• "Introverted" does not equal "shy." An introvert replenishes her emotional energy by being alone or with a very few, close friends. An extrovert replenishes her emotional energy by being with lots of people. Basically, extroverts are vampiric whereas introverts get what they need from themselves. I'm just sayin'.
• It may take us awhile to get what we're thinking out of our mouths, but HOO BOY it will be worth it when we do.