Shortcut, With the Emphasis on Cut

I'm making a sweater. I hope to wear it to various holiday functions, which is a clear sign of impending disaster.  

It's the Off-Rib Cardigan by Stefanie Japel. If you're desperate to see it and aren't on Ravelry, click here and look at the goldish cardigan (second row, middle photo).  Pretty, right?

I had trouble getting gauge. I decided just to start and hope for the best.  There's no need to point out how stupid that is.  I know. 

The body was mostly done when I reread the pattern and realized I was knitting with needles size 7 and 9 instead of 5 and 7.

I'll wait a moment for your pain to wane.

The body was going to be fine (maybe). The neck was not.  I put it away and knit something else quietly.  As I lay in bed that night, I figured out my next step.*

I would just unravel the neck and reknit going the opposite way!  A tiny voice in my head said, "Didn't you read that the only stitch that can be unraveled backwards is garter stitch?" I told the tiny voice, "Maybe that knitting expert was wrong."

That's probably it.  Happens all the time.

The next day after work I unraveled the cast on edge.  Of course, at the end of these two hours I found that the neck wouldn't unravel from the top.

So I got out the scissors.

I very long time later, the neck was unattached.  (Yes, it's a tall collar.  We're not talking about 15 minutes of knitting here.)

That ball was all that remained of the collar when I was finished.

I could bore you with the hell that happened after that, but all it would do is highlight my own stupidity and I think that's been demonstrated enough in this post.  Let's just say that the collar and I had a difficult time, but I did eventually succeed.

Until the needle separated from the cable.  As in, the knitting needle fell apart.  While on live stitches.

Again, I'll wait while you recover.

I'm not ashamed of the words I said.  

We're on much surer ground now, the sweater and I.  I'm on the second sleeve and the end is in sight, so I fully expect the yarn to spontaneously combust.  

Does alpaca burn?

 *Let's take a moment to note how much life gets in the way in times like this. I can't call in sick to work because a sweater is jerking me around.  I'm sure the time spent away from the sweater is actually beneficial, but it's difficult to go to work when my brain wants to be Fixing a Problem.